words
For You
ON THE MAP
A DEATH IN THE FAMILY
YOU GO GOTH
Healing Through Poetry
ODE TO HAMMY'S FEET
For Hammiet- an Heroic Spirit
All Poetry and Artwork
Copyright 1995-2010 jillby
For You
      You're not really here with me
   but it's as if you were
   And your presence
   Your essence 
   Is strong in the room
   Is sharing the bed with me
   Has wrapped me completely 
   and Ignited me 
   as I sleep
   Weep 
   Breathe you in deeply
   and want 
   You here with me 
      You're not really here with me 
   But I feel you near 
   and your touch 
   So much
   of you is with me 
   Is feeding my spirit 
   and starving my pain
   Has blinded me 
   and opened my eyes 
   As I love
   Above 
   your expectations 
   and need 
   You here with me
   
   You're not really here with me 
   But I feel you here 
   and my Heart 
   that part of me 
   Once so reserved 
   has opened once again 
   and closed itself around You 
   and filled me 
   and emptied me 
   as I Wake 
   Take 
   You in Me 
   Love 
   You here with me

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ON THE MAP                   JUST SIT
AND CLOSE MY MOUTH
MOVE MY EYES AROUND THE ROOM
LIKE THE HANDS ON MY WATCH
CONSIDER EACH SET OF EYES
AND THE MOVEMENT
IN EACH AND EVERY VOICE

AND SOMEONE HERE KNOWS ME
SEES INSIDE MY SOUL
AND I CAN HIDE NOTHING
THEY CAN TELL ME ALL MY SECRETS
ALL THE UGLY TRUTHS
EVEN I AM UNAWARE OF

AND I BETRAY MYSELF
I STARE TOO LONG
 AND THOSE WINDOWS BETWEEN MY LASHES
 TURN MY INSIDES OUT
AND EXPOSE ME

AND WHAT AN AGONIZING EXERCISE
TO BE DISCOVERED-UNCOVERED
AND YET HOW PEACEFUL-FINAL
TO AT LAST BE UNDERSTOOD
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A DEATH IN THE FAMILY 
      AND I DIED IN MY SLEEP LAST NIGHT
   GAVE UP-GAVE IN-LET GO 
   GONE SEEKING SOME ETERNAL FLIGHT
   THAT LONG AT LAST I KNOW
   
   AND I DIED IN YOUR ARMS LAST NIGHT 
   AND FORCED TO LAY RESTRAINED 
   YOUR LIPS ON MINE AND CLASPED SO TIGHT
   NO LOVE-JUST GREED AND PAIN 
   
   I'VE BEEN OBSESSED-POSSESSED BY YOU 
   YOUR TOUCH CAN'T MAKE THINGS RIGHT
   MY SPIRIT'S FLOWN TO SOMEPLACE NEW 
   MY DEATH IN SLEEP LAST NIGHT 
   
   AND I DIED IN YOUR ARMS LAST NIGHT
   YET YOU WERE NOT AWARE
   COMPLETELY LOST iN SOUND AND SIGHT 
   YOU THOUGHT I WAS STILL THERE 
   
   AND 1 DIED IN MY SLEEP LAST NIGHT 
   RELAXED-RELEASED- SET FREE 
   YOU'D VOWED THAT I WOULD BE ALRIGHT 
   BUT I CEASED TO BE ME 
   
   I'LL NEVER BE THAT NEEDY FOOL 
   WHO USED TO CRINGE AND WEEP 
   AND IT'S THE LOVE I HAD FOR YOU 
   THAT'S DYING WHILE I SLEEP 
   
   WE DIED LAST NlGHT-THERE'S NOTHING MORE 
   AND WHAT WAS BOUND HAS TORN 
   BUT UNLIKE EVERYTIME BEFORE 
   I SHALL NOT BE REBORN
   
            top 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
YOU  GO GOTH
      AVOID ALL MUSIC THAT'S TOO BLAND 
   AND STUFF YOU SIMPLY CANNOT STAND
   BUT BUY C.D.S OF FAVORITE BANDS 
   THEIR TRUE SUCCESS IS IN OUR HANDS
   
   NOW GO ON LINE AND YAK AND YAK 
   BE SURE TO READ THE LATEST FAQ 
   THOUGH YOU CAN'T SEE YOUR FAVORITE HACK
   IT'S SURE AS SH*T THEY'RE WEARING BLACK
   
   AND CHANT AT MOONRISE, TOLL SOME CHIMES 
   CONSIDER YOUR SATANIC CRIMES
   KEEP INCENSE BURNING AT ALL TIMES
   READ POETRY WITH SILLY RHYMES
   
   BREW THAT COFFEE, CHUG THAT DRINK
   BURN SOME CANDLES- ONES THAT STINK
   BUT REALLY DON'T GO WEARING PINK 
   IT SIMPLY ISN'T DONE, METHINK
   
   AND IF YOU'VE SOMEONE TO IMPRESS
   SLIP ON A PRETTY VELVET DRESS 
   ALTHOUGH I'VE HEARD THAT MORE IS LESS
   IT'S BEST WHEN OVERDONE, I GUESS
   
   NOW SEND A FRIEND A DYING ROSE 
   AND STRIKE THAT CLASSIC GOTHIC POSE 
   THEN REALLY YOU SHOULD PIERCE YOUR NOSE
   AND DON'T FORGET YOUR EARS AND TOES
   
   NOW WASH AND WAX AND SPRAY YOUR HAIR
   AND TRY TO DYE IT- EVERYWHERE 
   REMEMBER TO AVOID THE SUN 
   AS WE SHOULD KNOW, A TAN'S NO FUN
   
   PAINT YOUR NAILS, YOUR LIPS, YOUR EYES
   TATTOO YOUR BACK, YOUR ARMS, YOUR THIGHS 
   IF SOME MAY THINK THAT QUITE UNWISE 
   WELL, THEY'RE IN FOR A BIG SURPRISE
   
   WE'RE ALL CONVERGING AT THE FEST 
   AND BEING GOTH IS NOT A TEST 
   BUT SCORE YOUR FRIENDS ABOVE THE BEST 
   AND TRY TO TOLERATE THE REST
               top 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
Original Armageddon Poetry Readings
Healing Through Poetry
Dr. Spears' Writing Clinic
I'd heard these sessions were to start
on Sundays 'round 'bout 9.
I felt that I should play a part
see yours and show you mine.

It seemed my life was such a mess,
in need of new insight.
And this so piqued my interest
I showed up the first night.

The sign out front said 'Dr. Spears'
'Poem therapy-Cheap rate'
I felt like I had naught to fear,
I'd heard the Doc was great.

'Now Doc' I said 'I seem possessed,
and crazy in the head
I'm always so goddamned depressed.'
'Oh-you're just Goth' she said.

We all sat down to therapy
(my shrink was out of town)
I said 'I'm searching to find me.'
She said 'Just write it down'.

'Doc Spear' I said, and she replied
'What is it?' with a frown.
I said 'last night I broke and died'.
She said 'Good, write it down'.

'The more creative you'll become
when forced to metered time,
this discipline has worked for some
and all your poems must rhyme'.

A week went by, the next I knew
the pen was to the page.
It seemed that I had found a clue
for how to ease my rage.

'Doc Spear' I said 'I'm up at ten
from slumber of the dead,
my hand to pen-to paper then,
rhymes flooding from my head'.

'Sometimes I'd write a letter
but I've always been a cynic:
this poem thing's made me better
Doctor, thank you for the clinic.

I've used that overwhelming urge
and now my thoughts are clear,
and instantly the words emerge'.
She said 'My dear-you're cured!'
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Here's one for my Dwarf Hamster
ODE TO HAMMY'S FEET 
Whilst in a precious moment
of my ham-inspired awe-
and spying Hammy sleeping
on his back- with upturned paw-
I see his little furry foot his left one- to the hind- and notice it resembles footies
of the baby kind.

it's tiny -little, plump & round
adorable for sure-
just like a human baby's foot
but covered all in fur!!
The sweetest thing I spied today,
and what I'd like to do-
is fit those furry Hammy's feet
with teensy baby shoes!




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This one is for Hammiet- who's spirit in the face of all adversity-
inspires me.
For never was a tale told
of hammies loved so-
Than that of lovely Hammiet
and faithful Hammeo.

For Hammiet- an Heroic Spirit
Dear Hammiet, my precious one
you softly touch my heart
You're Oh so small and sweet and fun
but soon, I fear, we'll part
The Vet has said your time is near
and still you Party On!
Your time is soon, it's that I fear
Blessed Peace, when all is done
Today you're happy, smiling too
and running in your wheel
No one could say, especially you
Tomorrow- how you'll feel
Hammiet my dear- I have to face
we all will meet our ends
Still, you'll be there- in that bright place
with all your hammy friends
So, I must lose the one I love
and always wonder Why
but you'll be there- so high above
The Wheel in the Sky


 top
 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
That was Rubi.

A girl who loved to have her tummy rubbed

She smiled big every time

That was Rubi

 

We used to call her "Meatloaf"

because she was exactly the same size and color

<smile> and that was Rubi

 

The girl that could never get full

and could eat all day long

She wasn't sure there was a next meal coming!

But that was Rubi

 

When I first brought Rubi home, she had no idea what grass was

and she didn't make a peep

But soon we took long walks in the green grass

She barked one day and I gave her such praise

She loved to bark all the time

and her front 1/2 lifted totally off the ground

with each joyful bark

Yeah, that was my Rubi

 

She had just begun greeting us at the door

with lots of barks

when we arrived back home

"Oh boy, Oh boy

You're back

and I'm hungry!!!" bark bark bark

Oh boy, that was Rubi, alright

 

I had Rubi for ten short years

funny, adorable, smiley, proud, loving, hungry,very brown,

That was my Rubi.

Rest in Peace my beautiful creature.

 

 



A poem for Us

 

we cast a single shadow,our reflections are undone

we were two souls at that time, though now we're only one

with memories of things soon shared and what we meant to do

that rooftop was the place that I then fell in love with you

 

and there just that rooftop  and it moved a magic breeze

it blew around our aura and everyone could see

and there was that cathedral sitting just next door

it spoke to us of time and dream and then it spoke some more

 

and we were touched by angels, but we didn't know it then

then taking in life's wine and song to take each other in

that day was always ringing, a song for me and you

we didn't know that all of this was as we're meant to do

 

the angels held us close that day and little did we know

how beautiful and perfect and pure our love would grow

a lifetime passed then long long years, we'd gone our seperate ways

we lived through darkness, of our own, for endless, endless days

 

How could we know what had to be that we must be together

it shows us now that even then, we're here to love forever

and Yes it's true that miracles can keep us close together

 

we found each other just ago and what I know is true

that miracle is truly us, that angel really you.

 

 

 

Bowing to Sorrow.



and I'm wilting

and I'm bowing to sorrow

and the goodness seems a dream

with thorns in my heart

that are wrenching my soul

they're hard and sharp and mean

 

It used to be a joyful day

serene and healthy,high

abandoned all I've newly known

and fight to the death every day

to love something, for loving one

to free myself, to be alone

 

I tried to elevate again

but down and down, back down

and fighting for my life

my silver bell has come unrung

for me it's what I'm destined to

with indifference, hate and strife

 

some even days, some shining sun

some smiles that break my day

this monster is the only one

that tears me every way

 

it's worse to come away from joy

where love was all today

as if my heart were Satan's toy

to punish, kill and block my way

 

the tears are here they never went

some hidden, but not all

and leaving me broken and bent

I bow to my own fall.

 

Is there a secret way

to ring the bell again

I only say, for this i pray

a newer, better day.

 

 


My dream about bed

 

There's only 4 beds here

said the eldest with a sneer

with 5 people waiting

the 5 were debating

Who will go without a bed

and who will softly rest their head

it soon was time to make a choice

the spinning brains made so much noise

then at the door, did a Professor appear

The slumber time was coming near

one would lack a place to sleep

and likely would not sleep deep

but one of 5 then voiced the thought

not knowing why only 4 beds were bought

she sniffled a bit and shook her hair

is this a time for us to share?

they doubled up and laid their heads

by sharing they each got a bed

The moral here is true as true

one has to share with me and you

and at that time when all is said

you always need to share your bed

 

 

 

 

 

Instant Love

It started out with instant love

and blessings from angels far above

we happily headed toward the alter

nestled by the cool clean water

to our surprise the family came

to see me changing my last name

the day was cool, yet bright and warm

the time has come, sound the alarm

We were joined and you looked on

and sharing joy, you saw it done

then gifts and cake and it was good

we caught our breath- right where we stood

we kept our cool as best we could

we shared the time that we had planned

and hours until we would finally land

shared with us the awesome presents

but mostly blessed by your prescense

we had the day that we could share

thank you all for being there

 

Thank you for sharing our day with us and for the lovely gifts.

 

Richard and Jill

 



For Taco Bill

 

are you still with me

and so I ask

are you still here

My beloved Bill

here so short a time

I held him near

My beautiful Boy

pure of heart and filled with unconditional love for me

always joyful despite his curse

afflicted by blindness and deformity

yet always had a smile for me

you lifted me

missing you breaks my heart

in my life and for my part

you who taught me gratitude for blessings

I did not recognize at first

you who were the greatest blessing of all

you left me fit and ready to live on

without you

It was your perseverance and determination

you showed me that you were always happy

Happy to be you

and happy to see me

you bounced around with endless joy

joy in the life you had with me

and always looking for me

always searching for the other soul

that saved soul was me then

and I am forever changed now

Are you still here my beloved Bill

my spirit grew from knowing you

you saved my life when you found me

you were beautiful, sweet and pure

I can't put words

enough to say

how you brought a new life to me

and a brighter day

I never knew that kind of love before

till you came knocking on my door

you were an inspiration

in the truest form there is

with eternal spirit and

limitless love

But a last day did come

you were ripped from my life

and I miss your sweet kisses

but I feel your smile

Are you still here?

my beautiful boy

my perfect friend

come home and sit here with me once more

Good Dog.

and you always will be here with me.

 

 

 

 

to MOM

 

I've missed you

since you went away

I've thought about you

every day

 

You were so young

so bright and gay

I've loved you in

most every way

 

There's isn't more

of you left here

but still I feel

that you are near

 

When Suddenly

you disappeared

the child I was

shed endless tears

 

you died and left me

all my fears

I thought someday

you'd reappear

 

and sing me songs

I loved to hear

I tried in vain

to keep you near

 

While Mom's are honored

on this day

I think of you

in loving ways

 

I love you, Mom

and you love me

No other Mother

will I see

 

I'm bound to you

and all that's me

are hopes you'll wait

Till I'm set free

 

I'll greet you

wiping tears away

and loving you

On Mother's day

 

 
jillby@jillby.net
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